Monday, 23 February 2015

Contraception, Casual Sex and Consent

For years and years, women were treated as second class citizens: no right to vote, be educated, work, etc. Just look at us now, right? I sometimes sit down and think how lucky the generation of today, including myself, are. Some women who lived before us were treated terribly, some even were victims of domestic abuse and couldn't escape it due to the patriarchal environments. In contrast, I sometimes sit down and think how some women are still treated like this. It annoys me so much. Women who rebel against the 'norms' of society are looked down upon, but men who do the same, gain from whatever the situation may be. Women are people and should be treated equal to men.

We should treat every girl like we do when we're drunk in the girls' bathroom. Am I right?? We are all women, all in this together! Who run the world? Girls.

I've seen a lot on the internet are people commenting on how many people they've slept with. Boys get the title of a 'lad' and girls, well they get called a 'slut.' I just don't understand the reason behind this. At all.

Now, I'm not promoting casual sex in this post. I must put out there that sex should only happen if you and the other person are comfortable and happy to do the deed. If you don't want to have sex, don't do it. Even if you've lost your virginity, if you don't want to have sex with that person, don't do it. It's easy to say no. Sex is important in life, it is how we reproduce and create a new generation of little people. But, with the introduction of many different contraceptives, you can now have sex with a high chance of not making a baby. You can control your fertility.

Yeah, Science! (Breaking Bad)

Going on the pill, getting the implant or the injection (for example) is a huge decision. I am lucky that I can talk to my Mother about almost anything, so when I was ready, I sat her down and told her that I wanted to go on the pill. She was a bit upset, that I was growing up and what-not, but completely respected my decision and we went to the doctors within the week. It was easy enough. They also give you free condoms too, just saying.

So, women have the decision to use good contraceptives and decide which one suits them best. But this only protects the chance of pregnancy and not STDs! Condoms will still need to be used if you want to protect yourself against diseases. Condoms used with the pill/implant/injection etc., only decrease the chance of becoming pregnant and catching STDs. Which is great! 

We are women. We are human. We have needs and sexual urges. Everyone should understand that. Just because we're women, doesn't mean we don't want to have sex. Men are seen in the media to be aggressive and sexual, 'lad culture' comes to mind. The idea of having sex with a girl gains them 'lad points' and they're such a 'lad' for having that one night stand with that girl who'll never speak to them again. Whereas in contrast, that girl who's currently doing the walk of shame home, she's getting judged by everyone walking past her. No doubt that people are saying, "look at that slut, wonder what she's been up to!" But, why are they saying that? It was that girl's decision to do whatever she wants to do. If she had sex, that's fine, as long as she was safe about it and wanted to do it with the person she went home with. If she didn't have sex, that's fine and she could be walking home from her friend's house party with her shoes in her hand. 

The idea that women aren't sexual is so old fashioned. In 2010, the Daily Mail produced this article which explains that over one third of 20, 30 and 40 year old's have all had one night stands. It also reveals that the 30 and 40 year old's do not regret their casual sex encounters and that the 20 year old's were more likely to wish they hadn't had casual sex. This is probably down to the negative way the media portray women and casual sex. 

Another article which explores casual sex is this article from the Telegraph. It displays a study of 1743 men and women and says that 80% of men are left feeling satisfied and happy after a one night stand compared to 54% of women. It says that women are usually left feeling, 'ashamed.' 

This post wasn't to promote casual sex at all, it was to show that it does happen. If you're going to do it, make sure it's done safely and you both have given consent. It was also to show how different men and women's views are about the topic of one night stands. Lads vs. ashamed and upset women... At the end of the day, it is your life and your decision. You can wait for that special someone. You can have a one night stand. You can have a same sex relationship. You can not have sex at all. It is your choice, just be safe and happy.

Thanks for reading!

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with you! What I hate about the media is that it makes sex seem like a taboo and doesn't explain different ways to protect someone during sex. If people aren't educated, how are we suppose to not get pregnant? This is the reason why there's so much teen pregnancy. Some women are unable to even get birth control or condoms because MEN in governent have banned health centers who give those out for free. It's like they want teenagers to get pregnant. It's so irritating.


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