Bullied, Controlled and Finding Myself

Being young and in a relationship has negative and positive points. It gives you a way of learning about so many aspects of life like socialising, love, heartbreak etc... But it can also be very restricting at times. Restricting someone from doing/saying/wearing something is emotional abuse. Remember that you are your own person and this is your life. This is my story of finding who I really was at 17 years old.

I've had relationships with peers and boyfriends in the past which really impacted on my state of mind. I didn't realise how much my past experiences had affected me until about 2 years ago. Being a teenage girl is never easy, I'm sure everyone can agree with that. There are so many pressures to start puberty, talk to boys, dress and act a certain way, when really you should be focusing on school and making solid friendships. Unfortunately, teenage girls are basically bullied into thinking they should wear certain clothes, some are pressured into smoking, others are even pressured into losing their virginity. It just has to stop.

I started puberty at a young age, in fact I was the first girl in my class to start my period. This meant that I sometimes had to miss Tuesday morning swimming lessons, I had to use the staff toilets and I was THE girl to come to when you started yours. Girls in my class were so curious to know what I was going through and when it hit them I was the first girl they came to, to tell me all about it and I'd just reassure them it would be okay... I know right, what a saviour I was back then. I cannot believe how nasty some children were to me because I had hairy legs or because I didn't wear a bra; there was no way I couldn't start shaving and buying bras. I basically stopped going to certain clubs because of the embarrassing things girls would say to me, it really upset me.

Moving on to when I had my first ever boyfriend. What a whirlwind of emotions... You know when people say their boyfriend doesn't let them wear things, doesn't let them go out, doesn't let them say certain words, well yeah, that's what happened to me. Why did I stay with him? I knew nothing else. I was young. Looking back at it now, it pains me to think I let this emotional abuse happen. If anyone treats me the way he treated me, I would never associate myself with them again. Growing up really does show you how you should be treated.

When that ended, I felt like a brand new person. I actually went out with the girls to college parties, I actually could wear whatever I want (e.g. a new coat I wasn't allowed to wear... Yeah a coat!) I met some amazing friends and they just knew how happy I was to finally be able to be myself with no one telling me what I could and couldn't do.

If you're in a situation like this, get out of it as soon as possible. Everyone will support you, I will support you! End the vicious cycle of head work and find yourself. Try new things, meet new people, it will transform you into the person you really are deep down.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post, if you'd like any help, advice or just a friend to talk to you can give me an email and I'll get back to you! 
Email: hmmorgan52@googlemail.com


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